A few bad days..

Apologies for not updating sooner... didn't really know what to say.

Well...the last few days have brought us down to earth with a bit of a bump. Came down Saturday morning to find Mum under a blanket on the sofa, barely talking and wincing in pain. Side effects had kicked in then.

She likens the pain to being attached to "10 slendertone machines on full throttle" with shocks going through all her muscles, mainly in her legs. She's also had sharp pains in her liver, and in the breast where she had her reconstruction, so I'd assume thats the chemotherapy attacking the lesions/tumours.
She's still finding time to make the odd silly or rather inappropriate joke though, even if she doesn't feel up to it.
She had a day like this when she was taking Capecitabine, and I think we were all hoping that it was just one day and then she'd be back to normal. But we're on day 3 now, going into day 4 and it doesn't look like the pain is going to stop anytime soon :(

It's been a hard few days, both physically and emotionally for all of us. I've been in bed most of the day with probably the worst migraine I've ever had, which left me feeling pretty useless as I'm the one that's meant to be helping Mum, not the other way round. Poor Dan had to leave us both and go to work - he's been doing so well, not letting any of this rubbish of the last couple of years affect his job...taking minimal time off but always managing to be there if we needed him for anything. My boyfriend Mark has also been pretty amazing... I dont know what on earth I did to deserve him but he's definitely an angel.

Mum felt a bit better this morning, but then around 1pm when I managed to get myself downstairs for a bit, she started feeling rubbish again (I must be bad luck!). Even the puppy didn't know what to do with himself, bringing his ball and his "raggy" (knotted rope toy) over to both of us, almost as if to try and cheer us up because they cheer him up. He's been a very good boy most of the time, but is a bit confused and I expect senses there's something not quite right.

Every day I wake up not knowing what it's going to be like, or what I'm going to find when I get downstairs... but if Mum's bedroom door is open and she's not in bed - then its as good as sign as it can be. It means she's up and able to get downstairs at least.

Sorry there isn't any more positive news... we're taking one day at a time & going from there.

Thank you for all the positive feedback on the blog, it's nice to know that it's worthwhile. It's also nice to be able to spill out how we feel without holding back.

Lets hope tomorrow is a more positive day...


H xxx